without any care.

Clearing up all the grey areas...

I would not claim her to be a friend, in fact, I have no reason or want for a friend like her. This is not to say I pick perfect friends because to be quite honest, no one is perfect. But I can pick my friends, and so I can pick whoever I want. Whether the reason suits anyone else. I'm sure somewhere she is a good person to other people, hence why in fact she has friends. I, however, cannot begin to fathom it at all. I have tried, don't get me wrong. Everyone has a fair chance until they are proven wrong. A lot of things she does I cannot agree to. While I do not agree with the lifestyle or personality with all of my friends, they all have one thing that she does not have from me; respect. I respect their choice, I respect what they want in life and in return they actually respect what I have to say to them and what is important in my life.

There is still hatred in the air...

Most people know how I feel about her. So there isn't much to be cleared up on the manner but someone said something the other day that I felt gave the wrong impression. She may not be my friend but I have a lot more respect and dignity to know that starting a grudge is useless, and will put people in awkward situations. The things I'm about to write are not new, everyone who has talked to me on the topic will know this inside out. I was civil to her, because of the certain connection she had. Now I don't have to care anymore because I have talked to that person and they know that what I did was for that person only. I also understand their true feelings for her which were a mystery to me before.

Just so that we are all on the same page...

I am a civil person and I will continue to do so for the sake of me. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not without reason and I rarely lash out unless I feel a need to defend myself. Everyone knows the past and knows how much I was angry and disappointed in the situation and how hard I tried not to get involved. I did in the end because it hit me hard. I cannot forget this even if it is said that it is better to forget all the bad things in the past. Yes, I hold a grudge, one that I will not make public. (I will not make it out the way she made it. I will not turn out like her). It was the first time that I really needed to defend myself from, quite frankly, stupidity on her part.

If I ever care enough to listen...

I wrote this entry not to start anything, I wrote it to clear up where I stood. I have not named the person because to be quite frank, everyone who knows already knows and if you don't know then it shouldn't mean anything to you. I don't care for reactions, I don't care for the nasty words, I don't care for the pleads about how she is so good. Obviously if that is the case you do not see what I see and I hold no grudge to you on what you may see in her. I will continue to act the way I want to. I have not named her because from now on she is just like every other person who I couldn't careless about, therefore she does not need a name. After all this is the last time I will speak about it.