Thursday, February 22, 2007

never stop being just you.

Surprise me with all the desire in your blue eyes...

Deep in darkness when the lights fade away, you will never know the smile of happiness that smears across my face. I wonder if you feel it when you place your tender lips against mine. It doesn't really matter if you can hear, see or feel all that you have done to me. It's my little tiny secret that I keep away from you. I don't want you to know what kind of effect you have on me, away from you or simply being near you. Its for me to smile about in my own little way.

Throw passion into the caution of your beautiful heart...

Some times being with you seems in its self an impossible feat. There you are, your hands on my hips, your kiss on my lips, and the sins you invoke into me life. If it weren't for you I would of never known, this life you so passionately want to bestow upon me. I don't want to leave it all, not now, not ever, all because of you. So every time that you pull me towards you I know that I am being pulled into a life that I wouldn't want with anybody else, in any other way. Just with you.

Catching the skips of breath in each of your kisses...

This dizziness you seem to create, can you make it last forever in the way you have made it your own all these years. Continue to hug me with all your might and all the things that you mean you say and I may just never want to ever let you out of my sight. You make my vision a complete blur. You make me smile without knowing. You make me laugh until I am weak. Then you pick me up and kiss me once more. Never stop.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

always on my mind.

I'm simply missing you like crazy...


Possibly something more inspiration than this later...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

make me weak with your kisses.

When you sneak up on me just like that...

There's something about you that never bores me.
You always come up with the most spontaneous compliments in the old fashioned Calum way.
You always surprise me with what goes on in that head of yours.
Lately, I just can't seem to get enough of you.
You are like a drug.
You make me think so irrationally.
When you make me laugh, I can't help but grin for the rest for the day.
And when you kiss me...
My heart, my head, my whole body just goes weak.
I hope you meant what you said.
Because life without you would just bore me to death.

I fall right into your arms...


Just like today...

Sunday, February 11, 2007

the end of one bad chapter.

In the made up delusions of your mind...
I don't understand you. I really just don't. It would be quite simple for me to ask you what your problem is but in the end I would be wasting my seconds with you. You are simply just a waste of space. I am just so tired of your stupidity and delusions. You don't need me to tell you who you are because to be absolutely honest with you, something you know I do no matter what and you forever compliment me on, you know it and guess what, everyone's knows it as well. You would deny everything and turn the entire situation about you and your frelled up life. And your life is frelled up, but not in the way you think it is. You are fucked, really fucked. Go get help, in any way you can, because one day it may just be your absolute demise.

The world according to your soap opera...
I know everything that goes on. Why? Because unlike you my friends are honest to me, they know the things that will hurt me need to be told by them so they can help me out and most of all because if you say something that will hurt me they will warn me no matter what. That is what my friends do so don't you DARE say or blame what they pretended to say to you. Just because you want all those silly teenage implications in your life does not mean any of us want to waste away our life with you. Yes, you're on your own because you are definitely delusional. You can say whatever the frell you want about me or him but trust me no one believes that he is jealous of you, GET OVER YOURSELF NOW before you make a worse fool of yourself than you already are. There are people laughing at you behind your back. That's how honest I am.

You let history repeat itself in the worse possible way...
I had told you once and I will not be as gentle as I was before. Do not get in my way, in anyway. You've made the mistake once and you didn't have enough of my anger at you? I will not hold back like last time. I will not make peace with you like I did. What you mean to me is absolutely nothing. I am not lying nor exaggerating. You bring this frustration into my life that I just can't shake off. What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell made you this way? What made you so insane? I really just don't know. I tried to really just hold my tongue but, my god, you really need to hold yours and think about things before you say them. That's advice, just like this entire entry.

This emotional rollercoaster...
I have been angry and frustrated with you for so long. But it was only last night that I was really just upset by you. I have truly had enough of you. I do not ever want to see your face because you have caused so much pain and misery into my life. You do not deserve anything that I give you, not even my anger. I treat strangers better than you because I think they deserve it more, that's how low you have put yourself out there to me. Everyone who was there last night, will know how angry and sad and completely horrified at the things that I know are not the truth. Especially since it was three to four of them telling me on separate occasions of the things you have said. I do not ever want to see you and I truly believe it. You have not made any attempts to better yourself and I feel sorry for you.

Since you run away at every truthful encounter...
You never want to talk to me about it even though you claim you want to. Do not say that you want to sort things out with me especially when I have tried on two separate occasions to speak to you about it and you run away. Every knows this too, you can lie all you want. So here is the truth from me the way you like it.
  • I thought maybe I could grow to somehow tolerate you. I know now that I was being delusional, it will never happen, not ever.
  • He does not speak to you because you think he is jealous of you and your boyfriend, that's just you making it all up. You treated him badly, you treated me badly, you treated his best friend badly, he believes himself that you are a waste of space. Ask him yourself, after all he's been waiting for this stupid talk you so call want to speak to him about.
  • Do not think that you can say that a certain two people told you that he is jealous of you. I asked them directly to their face and they said no. Yes, I will back up everything you say so don't lie.
  • NO ONE IS JEALOUS OF YOU. She is not jealous of your boyfriend, no one is. Get over it now.
  • I cannot speak for everyone else really, but I have had enough.
  • I do not know why you have obsession with my boyfriend. Ever since the beginning. Even before you met me. I want to make it quite clear that everyone knows how much we mean to each other and that's not from us telling them. They know it because they have seen it. You cannot claim to be friends or try to be with either of us if you keep thinking and believing yourself that he has some sort of crush on you. That he is jealous and that he is just with me for no good reason. No one knows what the hell you are on. Even that first time when you claimed that he liked you because he poked you. (Please do not tell me how much you love your boyfriend, because its the oldest claim in the world.)
  • There are a lot of people out there who have a lot of anger towards you. They usually direct at me because I have made it publicly known that I do not to have anything to do with you. You have lost my friendship. Rethink your ways before you lose more of the friends you think are loyal to you. You know as well as I do that why some people may seem polite to your face they have other thoughts of you behind it.
I want you just to learn, really learn. Because you will lose your life in your mind if you keep thinking of soap opera ways to make your life more exciting. Real life will never tolerate your delusional thoughts. One more thing before I completely and utterly wipe you out of my life: wake up to yourself, you need to not because you have a choice. You will lose a lot of wonderful and beautiful people who will protect you with all their might if you do not be honest and stop making things up to make yourself feel better. They will make you feel better when you deserve it. You really need to think about everything you have done and everything you have said.
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