Saturday, October 29, 2005

&& heart me ...


Breathe quietly...
Hold my heart...
Hear it beat...
For you...


Trust me...
As I will trust you...
Don't betray me...
I never will...
Hold on to us tight...
Don't let it go...


Can we make it through...
Together and apart...
Now and forever...
With and without the kisses...
The hugs...
The meaningless gestures...
The laughing secretly together...
Or even just the desire...
To simply sit together...


Gamble away comfort...
Enter uncharted territories...
Let us make the rules...
The rights and the wrongs...
I want to win...


In my heart...
You are for me...
I hope...
You feel that way about me...


Can we make it happen...
Can we we get stronger...
Can you see me with all that sexy appeal...
Can you make me a special place in your life...


Uncharted territories...
Beyond hope...
Coin toss...
Fate's destiny...
Us...



Wednesday, October 26, 2005

give... took... have...


Give me...
 

An hour, a day, a year and a whole lifetime. Needing the time to think it through to breathe it in, to sort it out. If it were so simple I would take this minute and give you all that you want, all the answers, all the comfort that I could possibly give you... in this minute. But I need the space to figure out what went wrong, what made me think the things that never before entered into my mind. Give me that.. can you?

You took...
 

A piece of trust, a dash of hate and a heart full of hope. I want that back just as much as you want me to have it back... if only it were that simple... I placed too much on one uncertainty in my life. So stupid, so childish, so unlike me. But that's what you do. You look at me and I wonder what life is without you and I fall, so deep, so fast that I find myself unable to get myself out of it without you. I will not let it happen again... not in my lifetime... not from you.

Have it...
 

The life you want, no attachments, no us. That feels like what you want, what you feel is your life. I cannot guarantee the things you can for me, nor the things you want. Your trust for me has not been tarnished one bit, don't make it my fault that I can't give you what you can give me. Have whatever you want... whenever you want... just don't expect me to be there every step of the way...

Her...

If I think about her it's only because of you. If I'm angry at her it's because of the things you bring up about her. If I'm writing this it's because I can't handle the green eye monster of jealousy and envy of her. All because of you, because of your fascination and your damn need to be so wanted by so many. Just because it's you...

-------------


Such a bitter entry... Just like me...

Monday, October 10, 2005

spark me up a romance


Without you...
 
She sits there laughing at the right jokes, pulls a face at the right bad jokes and sits there without him by her side. She feels lost, overwhelmed and unprotected without his strong arms tightly around her frame. This independence scares her, she hasn't had it for a long time. Yet, it thrills her to the edges of her skin. Without him she could be, not just anyone but anything, in a matter of moments.

Blink and you might miss her...
 
She's realising more than ever that there is more for her out there. Her life does not need to revolve around one single person other than herself. She reaches out to him because she knows he's there, she takes it all for granted because he is committed to be by her side. She doesn't want to feel that anymore. She wants to live every moment with him as if it is the first and as if it were the last. Every moment needs to count no matter the days that have swept quietly behind her.

Spark her up a romance...
 
She wants to feel the excitement of the first kiss with the comfort of every other one after that all rolled into one. She wants 'hello' to be about surprises and 'goodbye' to be full of gifts till the next time they meet again. She wants him to light the cold candle by her window sill together to light up the darkest moments in a relationship. She wants the spark not only reignited but burning full of desire.

------------

Us ; Three year anniversary ; 14th October 2005
Watching it go by together...

Sunday, October 2, 2005

quiet rifts of uncertainty



Intolerable silences...
 
If I kept quiet, spoke silently and answered with a nod or shake of the head would you remember that I'm still here? Would you see me amongst the strangers in my life? Would you care for what has happened to me, good or bad? It seems that even you wouldn't care for even a first glance.
 
Quiet rifts of uncertainty...
 
It use to bother me, it use to drive me insane. The crave for attention, the need for affection and the unconditional care was what drove me, kept me alive. I don't need it now, and the truth is I don't want it either. I've learned that I can do without the things that you gave me. I want to be me... the me without the attachments that plagued my life.
 
Unspoken words are all I need...
 
I miss the days of old romance. I miss the ways the gentleman use to treat a lady. I miss the words that spoke eye to eye. I miss the gentle touch of the hand to cheek. I miss the kisses that drove me into passionate fits. I miss the passion you once bestowed upon me.
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