dramatically overrated forevers.

Being optimistic means next to nothing...

There are hours when it all means very little, in fact it seems to slip on by without even being a simple thought. But it's the moments where she realises the most important certainty in her life seems to be turning to dust right in front of her. It's those minutes that she realises how much she wants to throw her selfish tantrum and to scream and yell until there is nothing left inside of her. Yet every time she sits and reflects how foolish she has been to fall into her own dark romantic traps she can't seem to find any energy. She's over the crying, she's over the thinking out loud, she over the talking about it, it simply just eats away at her because she doesn't know what else to do with it. It just feels like there's terribly more bad than there is the good.

Smiles washed away with the old useless tears...

There are times where its alright and things are the way it is without a second thought. Yet lately it looms over and reminds her how little she has left and how much its all going to hurt. So she reminds herself that she must not fall into the trap of believing so whole heartily, of dreaming of those silly romantic dreams, or wanting to swoon at the sweet words of promises. The barriers of safety she so nervously put down now seems to be the one thing that has let her down. She will not make that mistake this time, especially when it seems she can not do anything else. She feels useless.

Romance that swept right by without a care...

Despite all the sadness, all the anger and frustration, its all been for nothing because it won't be long before she realises that no matter what she wants she's just not going to be any better than she is now.

Just really tired of it all...