Wednesday, October 18, 2006

the ways of.


The evil ways of self-doubt...

She wonders when time will finally get the better of her. When it eventually makes her boring, reveals that she is stupid crazy in every way, and letting her become a waste of time. I don't ever want to feel that from you. She's afraid that despite a long road of four years you may just turn around all of a sudden, as suddenly as you turned towards her four years ago, and realise all of these self-doubting insanities.

The angry ways of emotions...

She knows lately that she hasn't been all there. She knows that everyone around her is angry at her in one way or another. Which isn't really surprising, I never do anything right by anyone. So who does she finally turn to when even you feel even the slightest anger towards her. A dead end and herself seems to be the likely solution. She's forgotten what its like to find the strength to figure out her own problems.

The tricky ways of the mind...

She likes to convince herself from the truth. Like how she's not entirely dependent on your strength as her own, or how much she will even begin to hurt if you turn to walk the other way, or even how everyone else can see her devotion towards you even when she denies over and over again in her head. I'm afraid to invest so much. Her mind cannot understand her heart.


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I currently have writers block, therefore this entry doesn't really express all the things that I really wanted to say. Disappointing really... Also the reason why I haven't blogged in a while. I miss this place.

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