dreams of no purpose.

In a dream that serves no purpose...

You're this unsuspecting figure in her deep sleep. There you were, nothing special, nothing wonderful, nothing at all. Yet the one thing that got her crazy about who you were, why you were there was that you were sweet to her in her dreams. You treated her like a lady and you wanted her. Really wanted her for what she was worth and not for granted. She's just being selfish for wanting to be wanted.

The kind of want that could never be reality...

It's not about who you were that really mattered to her. In fact she doesn't even really know who you were and she doesn't even remember what you looked like. To be quite honest, she doesn't even think she ever knew who you really were. You were and now a simple want. It was the way you took her hand and told her exactly why you wanted to be with her that drove her heart to flutter. She's missing the old feelings of romance again.

If the passion lived forever in her mind...

You reminded her of what it is like to like in spontaneous desires. Something that she seems to have lost in the midst of a long term commitment. She wanted to run away in her dreams with that ideal type of passion. Yet as much as she lives by such convictions in her life she knew that you were only just a dream. A dream, if she tried hard enough, could be her reality once more.

It would of been easy to run away...

But it's not in her nature...

I may be going insane...

life with him...

It's hard when you know you can't hide from the truth...

She now knows she could live her whole life with him...

It makes her heart jump...

exact reality

Unrealised realities...

There's so many things that could have gone wrong. There would of been so many ways that it could of begun. There are so many alternate realities that could have the choice to chose from. In a moment, in any time, a wormhole could have opened up and sucked us down into an unrealised reality. But despite the wonders and the battles this is one world that I wouldn't want to leave even with all the differences in between. You are this reality to me.

"This is exactly what I dreamed about."

--- Bad Timing, Season 4, Farscape

all the woeful reasons.

All the predicted reasons...

Every emotion that you had known about me is true. I did everything you told me to do. I pushed you, encouraged you, discouraged you, supported you and tried my very best to give you the benefit of the doubt. As I had told you before you wanted me to do all this, it is a bad idea no matter what you may think. I will not be held responsible on how I feel about this because I had told you what would happen if you did not listen to me. You know me well, this is no exception. Knowing how I will react should not be an advantage to you, in fact, it should be a sign as to what you really should of done.

All the honest reasons...

You have your reasons, I don't really know if I want to really know about them. It's because I had no choice that I know what they are now. To be quite honest I really want those reasons to help your case. However, they do not help what I feel. The one thing that I cannot just let past is the fact that you use me against myself. I never asked you to encourage me, so this should not even be taken into any account. It wasn't just once, but twice. This annoys me the most.

All the avoided reasons...

I don't want to be the one to try to push you, encourage you, discourage you, support you and give you the benefit of the doubt if you are not going to take anything I say to heart. I know you try and I know that you want to tell me all the reasons too. I'm not interested. I don't care for them. I've failed you as you have failed me. That's the major down fall of all of this.

"I need you to be strong for me this once."

I want to say that I am trying my hardest.

look upward.

 

Handsome...

I like you too much...

But it's never enough...

Mwah...