Searching.

After a while when you think that everything is fine, all the reasons that you had no longer seem to be important or make any sense. Its when you think that nothing can hurt, when you believe that you have it all figured out in your head and when you let go thinking that you are safe without a doubt. That's when it attacks, without warning, with so much force and you realise that nothing you say makes any sense, all the convincing in your head was just for convincing yourself that it was a good idea in the first place.

So its time to take a step back. Breathe one breath at a time and try and remember the true reasons. And when those true reasons hurt you and those that are important then you can begin to fix it. But new habits that become old habits that are not easy to let go of. The truth is where do you go after it all. You can't continue, you can't go back.  So you're stuck.

So I'm searching again.

Looking for the right formula.

But I don't know what is right anymore...