There Are Just Times.

There are times where a little space breathes just fine...

The situation may not be the same, the outcome, hopefully, will not be and the uncertainty isn't as mysterious as it was the first time round. But she never stops praising herself for being determined, more strong willed and deeply deeply passionate about him no matter the distance. She likes this time and wouldn't mind it if it happened once in while. It reminds her that she is still very much her own person, that she is independent and also her friends that are important are truly her friends and not because they belong from a plus one. Behind it all, she is grateful and this time round she is not fooled by people and the whole situation.

There are times where a little depending can be vice versa...

This time round it feels like there are more positives, more good things and that some of the long awaited dreams will for once be granted. Oh, how she wish it would so desperately. It's amazing how caught up she is in this whole process, one where it would still survive and thrive without her. She likes being the small escape route, the tiny fresh breath, or that slight distraction from everything else. She can be that for him and comes strangely like second nature. Its nice that once in a while she can do the supporting and the distractions. That's what she loves.

all the words without a thought.

 

I like the way that we are just now. This moment in time. In the seven years since you first kissed me, this is the place that I like us to be. I know that not everything is perfect, not everything is great, but emotionally, this is where I want us to stay. I know that things will change, I know that situations will not be the same but if everything changes around us and we stay like this emotionally, then I believe, whole heartily that we could live like this forever. And really that's what I aim for.

I know that no one really cares or even really wants to know. But this is for me, and I've been good at doing things for me for a while now, so I'm not going to stop. I'm enjoying all the things that I am doing for myself and not for anyone else, and you know what? The stress is gone, the worry is gone, I like all this freedom that it has given me. I feel like that no matter what happens, I can look after myself, first and foremost. After seven years in a relationship, this is the way that I want to do things.

I've stopped fighting over the little things because the bigger picture is more important. I've stopped caring about the time apart because its time that I can do the things that I enjoy without the worry of making sure everyone enjoys it too. I've stopped worrying about all the stupid things that are said and done because after all they are just plain stupid and mean very little. But the time that we find for each other is much more precious, much more wonderful, and much much sweeter. That's the way that I want to live, like every moment is the cherry on top.

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I felt like writing like this today...

Nothing thought out, just typed out...

Needed to clear my pretty little head.

for all of these reasons.

I am more independent than I anticipated…
I am becoming more truthful which has its upsides and downsides…
I am making university more a part of my life then my feeble attempt in the past…
I am ready to move on because it’s about time…
I am understanding myself in a more mature manner…
I am ready to grow up, but not too fast…
I am loving with an open heart because of him…
I am not wild, crazy or delirious nor do I really want to be…
I am honest and stable…
I am still as stubborn as ever but I don’t regret it…
I am grateful for my best friends and I want them to know…
I am appreciating design in a new light…
I am ready for his dreams because soon it will be mine as well…
I am glad that I have found that special someone now instead of hoping and dreaming about him…
I am more aware of my likes and dislikes instead of the grey areas…
I am enjoying having time to myself and will continue to make time for me…
I am more certain of myself and the decisions that I make in the future…
I am determined to stop the silly games that I play on myself and others…
I am not fooled by hopeless plans and unrealistic dreams…
I am thinking and doing things for the present and this will not change…
I am more aware of those who are my friends and not those who are friends of friends.
I am not going to succumb to my own emotional foolishness…
I am a risk taker, as long as it’s calculated…
I am his as much as he is mine, without doubt and without worry, after all these years…
I am liking myself more for all of these reasons...