There Are Just Times.

There are times where a little space breathes just fine...

The situation may not be the same, the outcome, hopefully, will not be and the uncertainty isn't as mysterious as it was the first time round. But she never stops praising herself for being determined, more strong willed and deeply deeply passionate about him no matter the distance. She likes this time and wouldn't mind it if it happened once in while. It reminds her that she is still very much her own person, that she is independent and also her friends that are important are truly her friends and not because they belong from a plus one. Behind it all, she is grateful and this time round she is not fooled by people and the whole situation.

There are times where a little depending can be vice versa...

This time round it feels like there are more positives, more good things and that some of the long awaited dreams will for once be granted. Oh, how she wish it would so desperately. It's amazing how caught up she is in this whole process, one where it would still survive and thrive without her. She likes being the small escape route, the tiny fresh breath, or that slight distraction from everything else. She can be that for him and comes strangely like second nature. Its nice that once in a while she can do the supporting and the distractions. That's what she loves.

give... took... have...

Give me...
 

An hour, a day, a year and a whole lifetime. Needing the time to think it through to breathe it in, to sort it out. If it were so simple I would take this minute and give you all that you want, all the answers, all the comfort that I could possibly give you... in this minute. But I need the space to figure out what went wrong, what made me think the things that never before entered into my mind. Give me that.. can you?

You took...
 

A piece of trust, a dash of hate and a heart full of hope. I want that back just as much as you want me to have it back... if only it were that simple... I placed too much on one uncertainty in my life. So stupid, so childish, so unlike me. But that's what you do. You look at me and I wonder what life is without you and I fall, so deep, so fast that I find myself unable to get myself out of it without you. I will not let it happen again... not in my lifetime... not from you.

Have it...
 

The life you want, no attachments, no us. That feels like what you want, what you feel is your life. I cannot guarantee the things you can for me, nor the things you want. Your trust for me has not been tarnished one bit, don't make it my fault that I can't give you what you can give me. Have whatever you want... whenever you want... just don't expect me to be there every step of the way...

Her...

If I think about her it's only because of you. If I'm angry at her it's because of the things you bring up about her. If I'm writing this it's because I can't handle the green eye monster of jealousy and envy of her. All because of you, because of your fascination and your damn need to be so wanted by so many. Just because it's you...

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Such a bitter entry... Just like me...