all the words without a thought.

 

I like the way that we are just now. This moment in time. In the seven years since you first kissed me, this is the place that I like us to be. I know that not everything is perfect, not everything is great, but emotionally, this is where I want us to stay. I know that things will change, I know that situations will not be the same but if everything changes around us and we stay like this emotionally, then I believe, whole heartily that we could live like this forever. And really that's what I aim for.

I know that no one really cares or even really wants to know. But this is for me, and I've been good at doing things for me for a while now, so I'm not going to stop. I'm enjoying all the things that I am doing for myself and not for anyone else, and you know what? The stress is gone, the worry is gone, I like all this freedom that it has given me. I feel like that no matter what happens, I can look after myself, first and foremost. After seven years in a relationship, this is the way that I want to do things.

I've stopped fighting over the little things because the bigger picture is more important. I've stopped caring about the time apart because its time that I can do the things that I enjoy without the worry of making sure everyone enjoys it too. I've stopped worrying about all the stupid things that are said and done because after all they are just plain stupid and mean very little. But the time that we find for each other is much more precious, much more wonderful, and much much sweeter. That's the way that I want to live, like every moment is the cherry on top.

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I felt like writing like this today...

Nothing thought out, just typed out...

Needed to clear my pretty little head.

will you be my ♥.

Will You Be My Valentine?

I ♥ Valentine's Day.

For the love hearts, the red, the glitter, the roses and the people that I ♥

Hope everyone celebrates with something nice.

I will be celebrating with some lovely girlies at work. ♥

ALSO

Happy Chinese New Year!

Year of the Tiger.

plain awesome...

 

And sometimes you can just be plain awesome...

more than just everything.

Wanting to be everything and so much more...

Is it hard to believe that all she wants is to be your everything. Your heart, your soul, your one and only. She wants to cater for all the things that you want, that you need, that you only believed were true in you dreams. She's delusional to think that. To believe she could be that, to think that she could ever come even the slightest bit closer to being everything. She's also realised that she has the toughest job of all, pleasing everything that you have ever wanted. She thought she had it all under control.

Protecting what was left and what has gone...

The silly little ideas that weren't meant to be anything seem to be the one thing that she knew would be something. Ignoring it didn't seem to work but then again confronting it did not really help the situation either. She's disappointed in herself and she's far beyond angry. She is threatened, and for some reason, deep down, she doesn't know whether she has the fight left inside of her. She's scared to find out just how little fight she has left. If she is not enough in every aspect to fulfill it all, is it worth all this angst.

Trying to understand all the reasons in between...

Every ounce of what was left of positive attitude seems not to make a difference and it should. She wants to be reassured, she wants to be told that she is almost everything, that she is worth everything at the least. She needs to be constantly told because every time she finally thinks of the future, the possible future that seems so close, reality has a way of telling her that she's falling into her own trap. Will all the regrets end up being the cause of failure or will it be her own undoing for believing too whole heartedly. The sad truth is she can never entirely seem to let herself go.

above all expectations.

Its like wondering what lies under the wrapping paper and pretty big bow...

There are times when I wonder what you think about me. Whether its all truth or made up lies. If its all the positives and none of negative. Or the possible regrets and the rightful choices. I just want to know what you think about me. All the good and all the bad. I want be told of the things that you see about me, that you want about me, that you dislike about me. But the most important thing is that I want to know why you like me in the way that you do, with all your heart on the line almost constantly for me.

Through all the balloons and streamers that fill the room...

The truth about you is that you are more than I had ever expected. The things that you say, the things that you do and all the things in between seem like actions from someone that is unlike you. But yet, the strange thing is I don't think you could be any other way. I wouldn't want you any other way either. Its the way you look for my hand, or how you stick your tongue at me, that would not be the same from anyone but you.

Surprises that make the heart jump with joy...

It catches my breath the way that you view me. The way that I can't seem to view myself. Its the thing beyond that that really makes my heart fall for you. You mean it in everyway, the way you say it, the way you respond to it and in the way you don't fault in anyway. You mean it more than I had ever expected it to. I'm glad I intrigue the way you do the same for me. Don't ever stop surprising me, don't ever say the things you don't mean but always always be mine.

never stop being just you.

Surprise me with all the desire in your blue eyes...

Deep in darkness when the lights fade away, you will never know the smile of happiness that smears across my face. I wonder if you feel it when you place your tender lips against mine. It doesn't really matter if you can hear, see or feel all that you have done to me. It's my little tiny secret that I keep away from you. I don't want you to know what kind of effect you have on me, away from you or simply being near you. Its for me to smile about in my own little way.

Throw passion into the caution of your beautiful heart...

Some times being with you seems in its self an impossible feat. There you are, your hands on my hips, your kiss on my lips, and the sins you invoke into me life. If it weren't for you I would of never known, this life you so passionately want to bestow upon me. I don't want to leave it all, not now, not ever, all because of you. So every time that you pull me towards you I know that I am being pulled into a life that I wouldn't want with anybody else, in any other way. Just with you.

Catching the skips of breath in each of your kisses...

This dizziness you seem to create, can you make it last forever in the way you have made it your own all these years. Continue to hug me with all your might and all the things that you mean you say and I may just never want to ever let you out of my sight. You make my vision a complete blur. You make me smile without knowing. You make me laugh until I am weak. Then you pick me up and kiss me once more. Never stop.