Amazed by You.

Closed off dreams...

It was all so positive and the forever questions of if it will happen seemed almost so close to be true. But was it all false hope? Had they both been so blind sighted by this experience which has spanned longer than their relationship? Had they both been so naive to think that finally the persistent need to accomplish this dream would finally be worth it all? What happened between the positive words of encouragement, the knots in their stomachs, to the end where the answer was not the one that you wanted to hear?

Invested core emotions...

She can feel herself being tangled up into the emotional states of your aspirations. She can not only hear and see your reactions, she also feels them deep in her heart. So when you were at a point where you could go no further, she could sense herself so much more invested than what she had anticipated. She not only wanted to know, she wanted so badly to see you get what you have fought for in all these years.

Opening the chances...

When the answers are all given and all the options were weighed and then destroyed in one single step, she panicked. She can feel herself being scared and worried about what was to come. Yet she knows that it really
isn't about her at all and that her emotions mean nothing compared to the ones that you are facing. She is proud of you and she realises now that she has never really said that before, so she wants you to know right now and not ever doubt it. She could never have done all the things that you have for all those everlasting dreams. So when you did not show despair or worry and just moved onto the next plan, she could not have been more amazed by you.

Here we are waiting to start again, and this time round it has to right...

The Emotion of Absence.

I dream about you when I don't really want to be reminded of you. 

My subconsciousness is against me no matter how much I may try and fight it. 

I'm not sure what its trying to tell me because I'm trying hard to ignore that nagging need and that unfulfilled emotion of absence. 

My own mind has struck a treaty with you and made an enemy of I.

Stop haunting me in my dreams no matter whether it means well or just as another way of annoying me. 

Even though the annoying reminds me that you are near. 

Formidable Dreams & Sweet Realities.

 

Hold her hand....

You take her hand, and she willingly accepts this without question. You hold her hand tight and take her to a place that she isn't quite all there yet in the physical form. Don't get her wrong, she loves hearing about those dreams, especially the ones that are so so close. Don't hold a grudge against her, she's a lot more forward in her thinking than she was only a few weeks ago. Its all still so surreal and some times when she sits down with you in the same room, she can almost touch those formidable dreams.

Tell her dreams...

You tell her that this will happen and she smiles and nods without a second thought. You make her dream in a totally different state of mind where she can't seem blend into reality. It doesn't mean that you should stop dreaming, she loves the way that your mind works. It doesn't mean that she can't see the togetherness that you describe, she just needs to understand in it her own little mind. Its an enchanting thought and some times when she closes her eyes right next you, she can breathe in those sweet realities.

re-adjusting what's left.

Where the dreams are suppose to come true...

It didn't take long for it all to fall apart. The time management, the assessments and the need to stay on top of everything. It just crumbled in less that three weeks. How did it fall so fast and so hard even before I saw it happening this time. It doesn't matter. All I know is that I have to try again to be on top, to work harder, to manage myself better. After-all I want those High Distinctions.

Where the friendships come and go...

It's hard to keep in check what everyone’s differences are. What to say to who and what not to say to others. Sometimes you just know that it would never happen, and some times its for the best. But when you try so hard to make things work why do some things that just disintegrate in your hands so easily. At least there is love in the places that I know will understand. I have the friends, that mean enough to me.

Where working together is just as important...

Some times it takes a little bit more than just patience to deal with the problems that you knew where always there. But some times it takes others just that little bit longer to see the truth with their eyes. And trust me, if you be cruel, it will show. I will be fair but it will be with everyone, not just what you demand. I am fair, no matter what you think.

Where there is never enough time for you...

I miss those times that we spent all to ourselves. Where did they go and how come I can't get them back. I miss that one hour of just you and I. It never seems enough.