Just Hold On a Little Longer.

She misses her handsome...

Not because he is far away, not because he has run away but because she had to make some sacrifices for the short-term that made her turn away. She didn't want to do it because some times he is the only one that actually makes it seem alright in the end, and it just seems so unfair, for her and him. So she wishes that the next three weeks will pass quickly and will not cause anymore damage to her self-esteem.

She misses her sanity...

It went away with him when she says no to ever visit, a shake of head for every act of kindness and a decline to his sweet offerings. She use to be able to section it off, the stupid things that never make her happy and him, who makes her forget that those things are not important. But this time round she doesn't seem to know how to make it work again.

She misses her life...

If this is what her life is suppose to be, if this is what it is to taste the industry, it isn't really what she had in mind for the rest of her life. Yet, there is something there, hidden deep inside that does grab her attention, makes her smile sometimes, but why will it never show its face? She misses remembering to breathe fresh air, sleep in without guilt, and go on dessert dates without worrying about the hours she is using up. Life shouldn't be like that.

These are the sacrifices...

Only for a little bit longer...

Just hold on for me...

about you.

Expressing...

It seems that trying to find the words to describe what she wants to say is becoming more difficult than she thought. In her heart she knows what she wants but somehow none of the words seem to do justice. She's tried to write this so many times, its been almost a week in the making, yet no matter what she wants to write it never comes out right. She wants to say so much, describe this feeling and to remember it, but there isn't anything that fits what she wants to express about you.

Moments...

Lately you have been so amazing to her. It's not a new feeling, but its been much grander, more appreciated and much much more lovely. She's not sure how its happened or why its been such a sudden thing but she definitely does not want to spoil it in anyway. She would not trade anything for these moments, nor would she like to see them disappear. She wants them to last forever because that's the way she thinks about you.

Evolving...

She thinks that maybe she has changed a little and that you have too. She would like to believe that she is less dependent and doesn't need as much as your constant time like she did in the past. But when she is with you, the moment is savoured and it is so much sweeter. She would like to believe that she is more forgiving and less angry. After all these years she knows who you are and she would not want you any other way. She knows that all these things are true because she is insane about you.